Note From The President, Cerebus 234, September 1998

Copyright 1998 Dave Sim


So, Judy the bartendress showed up one night at Peter's Place when she wasn't working. As a parenthetical note, my one big regret about having eliminated currency from Estarcion with the Cirinist takeover was that I couldn't do the "closed system" tavern. That was the original germ of an idea for Guys back around 1990. That is, a tavern with such a small clientele that it is largely supported by the staff, who tip each other very well. Basically just switch from behind the bar to the "fun" side of the bar when their shift is done. And there they spend all their tips buying drinks and tipping the bartender that they were serving earlier in the day.

But back to Judy. She came in and sat at the tables-and-couch combination directly behind the end barstool where I was sitting, watching the Blue Jays game on television. We exchanged a few words as I was watching the game, which was in the fifth or sixth inning. The Jays had a comfortable lead, 5-1 or 6-1 , something like that.

I make it a rule not to talk to women when I'm watching the Leafs or the Jays. It's bad luck. I know that sounds funny and weird and superstitious, but there you go.

I guess I got overconfident. The Jays had been playing some good ball around that time, so I figured what the heck. I'll go over and sit and talk to Judy while I watch the game from there. I fancy myself a rational guy, and there have been a few times when I've thought that I was just being silly about women being bad luck for the Leafs and the Jays. Bad luck, yeah right. This was one of those times.

I have no idea whom they were playing, but from the moment I sat down at the table things started going wrong in the game, and the Jays' lead started to evaporate. I tried telling myself that I was just being ridiculous, but I just wanted to say to Judy, "Look, I'm sorry, but I have to stop talking to you and go back to the bar, or the Jays are going to lose." I didn't, of course. I had never told anyone about my little theory. So, once I was there, there wasn't a whole lot I could do except watch the lead evaporate and swear not to do something like that again.

Also, Judy was buying my drinks, as I recall, so I thought I would just take it as a learning experience and enjoy the free drinks and the quasi-Iiterary conversation.

Sure enough, the other team took the lead in the top of the ninth, the Jays went down, in order, in the bottom of the ninth, and I turned to give Judy my full attention.

She gathered up her things and grinned triumphantly at me.

"So, you can be fooled," she said.

And at that point she left.

Ding. Round two to Judy.

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